Names That Suit Their Professions

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What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet.

Romeo & Juliet, II.ii. 1-2

 Well, that’s literally true, Bill, but I think a little of the bloom would be taken off if we called a rose a skunk, let’s say, or vomit. Names do carry connotations as part of theirbaggage. It’s true even of our family names. How would you like to be Nicholas Nerd or Lucinda Schitz?

There’s an interesting class of names that some people tend to treat far too seriously, which is evident from the academic name: nominative determinism. This is the theory that some people unconsciously choose their occupations in life because of their name. Obviously, a large number of surnames arose historically because of the work that family founders did: Archer, Baker, Butcher, Carpenter, Fletcher (arrow maker), Fuller (cloth cleaner), Miller, Shepherd, and Smith. But that doesn’t mean that subsequent generations were doomed to ply that occupation. Detective Lew Archer carried a gun, not a bow. I never saw a picture of Alan Shepard carrying sheep into space, and Henry Miller didn’talways have his nose to the grindstone.

But the humorous element of names that match one’s occupation is what attracts most people. Franklin P. Adams coined the term aptronym to designate a name that is suited to aprofession. And so we have Roy Holler, auctioneer; James Bugg, exterminator; Linda Toot, flautist; Dorothy Reading, librarian; Marvin Dime, coin dealer; and Priscilla Flattery,publicist. Let’s take a look at some categories that have more than their share of suitable names.

•  Rev. James R. God is minister of the Baptist Church in Congress, South Carolina

•  Father Papa is assigned to St. Agnes Church in West Chester, PA.

•  Rev. D. Goodenough is a Methodist minister

•  Donald Goodness is the rector of the Church of the Ascension in New York City

•  There is a feminist theologian named Dr. Carol Christ. It is not known if she isrelated to Father Raymond Christ of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

•  The Rev. Samuel Abbot is an Episcopalian priest, as is Rev. George Easter. Father Donald Abbot serves the Catholic Diocese of Charleston.

•  Fathers Grim and Gross belong to the Catholic Diocese of Fargo.

DENTISTS

•  Dr. Tom Fillar is a dentist.

•  So are Dr. Aichen and Dr. Chiew.

•  Dr. Hertz was a dentist in Ft. Lauderdale.

•  Doctors Akamine and Auh practice in Los Angeles.

•  Dr. Yankelovich is a dentist in Palos Heights, Illinois.

•  Dr. Les Plack is a dentist in the San Francisco Bay Area.

DOCTORS

•  Dr. Dick Chopp is an Austin, Texas, vasectomy specialist; his associate is Dr Hardman.

•  Joseph C. Babey is a pediatrician.

•  Dr. Harry Beaver is a Virginia gynecologist.

•  American Urological Association members include Dr. P.P. Peters, Dr. Wiener, Dr. Cox, Dr. Dick, and Dr. John Thomas.

•  Dr. Fingers is a gynecologist in Australia.

•  Dr. Dick Bone is an osteopath.

•  Marcellene Doctor is a dermatologist in Fall River, Massachusetts.

•  A physician in Maine is named Dr. DeKay.

•  Michele Hakakha is a Beverly Hills gynecologist, and Leland Lapp and Elden Pecka deliverin San Diego.

•  Dr. I. Doctor is an opthalmologist.

•  Drs. Kent Aftergut, Harold Lancer, and Kenneth Mark remove tattoos.

•  Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada, is home to an optometrist named Gord Looker.

•  Dr. Frank Noodleman helps restore hair.

•  Sir Russell Brain is a famous English neurologist.

•  Dr. Peter Bump is a gynecologist in Traverse City, Michigan.

•  Dr. Slaughter is an oral surgeon.

•  Urologist Dr. Dick Tapper has a practice near Buffalo.

•  There is a chiropractor in Tacoma, Washington, named Dr. Bonz.

•  Dr. Nurse is a General Practitioner at the Woodlawn Medical Centre, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

•  Dr. Treadwell is the head of the pediatric orthopedic department of Vancouver General Hospital.

•  Drs. Joel Cook, Alexander Gross, and Anne Lott are dermatologic surgeons specializing in fat transfer.

•  Both Dr. C.B. Footlick and Dr. Smelsey were podiatrists.

 

LAWYERS

•  In Traverse City, Michigan, three lawyers are named Justice, Robb, and Law.

•  The Florida Bar directory lists lawyers named Law, Justice, Just, Juster, and Judge.

•  If your reputation has been defiled, you may want to consult with Boston’s JoshuaStayn, and if you pay by the hour, Florida’s Kathy Klock might be your pick.

•  Michael Ram will help you with Military Law, but not as avidly as Michael Guerra (Spanish for war).

•  Claudia T. Salomon specializes in Dispute Resolution.

•  Linda Pence of Indianapolis will be happy to help you with Gaming Law.

•  Daniel Saylor specializes in Maritime Law.

•  In Rochester, David Tennant will help you with Real Estate Law.

•  For help with Hazardous Waste laws, turn to Wayne Greenfeder or Frank Hunger.

•  California’s Steven Richman specializes in Banking and Finance Law.

•  Florida’s Allison Folds handles divorce cases.

•  If you’re having trouble with an online store, New York’s Kenneth Payment is a specialist in Internet Law.

•  In   Hammond,             Indiana,     Paul          Rake    specializes  in Environmental Law.

•  The Western part of Ireland is home to the firm of Argue and Phibbs.

•  In Coral Gables, Gail Parenti handles nursing home cases; in Seattle, it’s Claudia Kilbreath.

 

RESEARCHERS/PROFESSORS

•  Richard Seed is a pioneer of reproductive technology.

•  A paper on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology was authored by J.W. Splatt and D. Weedon.

•  Prof. Martin Braine is an American cognitive psychologist.

•  S.M. Breedlove writes on sexual dimorphism for the Journal of Neuroscience.

•  Gene Shearer is a Biologist with the U.S. National Institute of Health.

•  The American expert on deformed frogs is Professor Hoppe of Southwest University of Minnesota.

•  Professor Michael Lean is the Professor of Nutrition at the University of Glasgow.

•  Edgar E. Mountain wrote “Geology of Southern Africa”.

•  Dr. Randolph Seed worked on a project on artificial insemination at the Reproduction and Fertility Clinic in Chicago.

•  M. Bedrock wrote a thesis on "Sedimentology of some Westphalian C sequences".

•  “How fish hear and make sounds at the same time” was an article by Andrew Bass.

•  Dr. Reginald A. Beach specializes in coastal dynamics and sediment transport in the surf zone.

•  Dr. David Bird, of McGill University in Montréal, is one of the best known Canadian ornithologists.

•  Dr. Henry Head is past editor of Brain, a medical journal

•  Professor William F. Dolphin of Boston University is a researcher in marine mammal sonar.

•  Steven Haddock is a scientist at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute.

•  Peter Herring works at the Southampton Oceanography Centre in England.

•  Dr. Sam Lake is a freshwater ecologist in the Department of Biological Sciences at Monash University.

•  Dr. James Makepeace, professor of sociology at the college of St. Benedict at St. John's University in Minnesota, was a specialist in family violence.

•  An article entitled “Cognitive Rehabilitation of Amnesiac Alcoholics” was written by B.J. Spittle.

•  Sally Marine was an administrator at the Southampton Oceanography Centre.

•  Peter Cliff writes about mountain navigation.

 

PSYCHIATRISTS

•  Specialists in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry include Doctors Alters, Better, Best, Brain, Childs, Denton, Gabby, Goodfriend, Gross, Hack, Handler, Hugg, Joy, Klam, Krier, Kuhl, Kuts, Lapp, Lineback, Little, Luckie, Ma, Martini, Mee, Miner, Mullarky, Muse, Mutter, Narcisi, Noel, Noh, Nutter, Pagan, Panik, Pastor, Patt, Pine, Rahtz, Render, Riddle, Root, Ruberman, Sack, Sane, Schield, Schmek, Schramm,Shampain, Shnaps, Shopper, Skuse, Slack, Small, Smoke, Snow, Sorter, Spar, Speck, Spitz, Stage, Stark, Storm, Stuck, Sugar, Surpris, Tan, Tarr, Termini, Tingle, Trott, Tweed, Valentine, Van der Gaag, Vary, Walkup, Ward, Wild, Wind, Wing, Wolf, Work, Wruble, Wurst, and Young.

•  Drs. John Kluck, Richard Worst, and Charles Covert are forensic psychiatrists.

 

SPORTS

•  Robert Furlong, racing commissioner.

•  Matt Batts, baseball player who started with Boston in 1947. Inappropriately, hisrecord was similar to that of Clyde Kluttz  of the St. Louis Cardinals.

•  Speaking of baseball, we can’t forget the Tiger’s Cecil Fielder.

•  Lake Speed, race car driver, who handed in the keys after nineteen years on the circuit.

•  Gary Player, golfer from South Africa.

•  Rollie Fingers pitched for the Oakland A’s.

•  Dale Kickett played for the Freemantle Football Club.

•  Nathan Leeper, high jumper in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

•  Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver.

•  Olympic swimmers have included Bottom (1980), Crabbe (1928), Float (1984), Goessling (1908), Spitz (1972), and Watters

(1988).

•  In Newcastle, Australia, there is a boxer named Darren Hitwell.

•  Margaret Court and Anna Smashnova were tennis players

 

VETERINARIANS

•  In Baton Rouge, there is a veterinarian named Dr. Daniel Beaver.

•  Dr. Mike Bassett practices veterinary medicine.

•  Dr. Daniel Bone specializes in animal orthopedics.

•  Dr. James Chase specializes in equine medicine.

•  A veterinarian in Bogart, Georgia, is named Dr. Crowe.

•  Dr. William Hay treats horses.

•  Boston is home to veterinarian Nicholas Trout.

•  One of Dr. Woodies’ research interests (Lexington, KY) is Equine Urogenital.

 

Whether there are subtle psychological underpinnings to this phenomenon or whetherit is sheer coincidence, keep your notebook handy the next time you receive a service. Yourstockbroker may be Risky, your grocer may be Cabbage, and the policeman that stops you for speeding may be Badger.