Half a Loaf

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HALF A LOAF

 

It’s always fun to play with the deeper meanings concealed in words, and today the hidden treasure is the word bread. 

 

It shows up, for instance, in the word bribe. Today, a bribe is money or a favor given to a person of some authority in order to influence his or her decision. The word started out in Old French as a piece of bread, particularly one given to a beggar. As time went on, it began to refer to a professional beggar, often unsavory, who lived on alms. From there, it became plunder or spoils, and it was applied to the person who received them. Somewhere in the 16^th century, direction shifted, and it became an act of the giver.

 

A companion is a buddy, an associate, a comrade. Literally, a companion is someone with whom you share bread (L. com, together, and panis, bread). Comrade, by the way, means a chamber-mate, someone who shares a tent with you. We can see the early military contexts involved in companion and comrade.

 

Arto- was a Greek combining form meaning bread, and during intense anti-Catholic eras it was flung around as an insult. An artolater was someone who worshipped the host; he or she practiced artolatry. Much earlier, the word artotyrite was applied to a 2^nd century Galatian sect whose members were alleged to celebrate the Eucharist with bread and cheese (Gr. tyros). A less vituperative use showed up in artophagous (bread-eating), from the Latin, that has a cousin in panivorous (bread-eating).

 

A canister is a small metal container used to hold tea, coffee, and other food items, but it started out in Latin (canistrum) with a very specific meaning: a bread basket. You might keep your canisters in a pantry, a closet or small room in the kitchen used to store food items, utensils, and other cooking and eating aids. Originally, it was a storeroom for bread (panis).

 

People like restaurants that feature smorgasbords because they provide a rich variety of offerings -- something to please every palate. But originally, mörgås meant a slice of bread and butter placed on the table (bord). And speaking of restaurants, Panera means something close to breadbasket.

 

Finally, turning to lord and its companion word lady, in Old English, lord meant "one who guards the bread," and lady meant "the kneader of bread," showing its importance in household provisions.

Irish Bulls

 

 

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IRISH BULLS

•          If Queen Victoria were alive today, she’d be turning over in her grave.

•          May you never live to see your wife a widow.

•          I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If you think running with the bulls at Pamplona is dangerous, look over your shoulder: here come the Irish Bulls!

The American Heritage Dictionary defines an Irish Bull as a statement containing anincongruity or a logical absurdity, usually unbeknownst to the speaker. As an example, itgives, “With a pistol in each hand and a sword in the other ….”

Irish Bulls were deeply ingrained in the speech patterns of Sir Boyle Roche, a member of Parliament in various Irish counties from 1776 to 1800, and that’s where the Irish connection comes in. The term was frozen in place by Dr John Mahaffy, a 19th Century scholar at Trinity College, Dublin. Asked what makes Irish bulls different fromother bulls, he was quoted as saying, “An Irish Bull is always pregnant,” making itsuperior, one supposes, to less prolific bovines in other lands.

Let's run through a sampling of this brand of humor.

·               We're all in this alone.   Lily Tomlin 

·               You are unique -- just like everybody else.   Jim Wright

·                     You should have been there after you left.    Michael Kirk 

·                     Why should we go out of our way to do anything for posterity? What       
               has posterity done for us?   Sir Boyle Roche

·                    The cup of Ireland's misery has been overflowing for centuries and is   
              not yet half full.   Sir Boyle Roche

·                    An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  Samuel Goldwyn

·                    Our comedies are not to be laughed at.   Samuel Goldwyn

·                    Two things he was not able to do before, he's beginning to be able to 
              do again.   John Madden 

·                    There's no future in time travel.   Tom Baker as Dr. Who

·                    There's a time for laughing, and there's a time for not laughing; this is   
              not one of them.   Inspector Clousseau

·                    There is more pure chocolate in our all-butter cookies than any other 
              ingredient.   Safeway label 

·                    Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded.  Yogi Berra

·                   This is like deja vu all over again.  Yogi Berra

·                    If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them.   Yogi  
              Berra

·                     Warning: this product may contain olive pits.  Label on a pitted olive  
               can purchased in Oleson's Market

·                    The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated 
              ambiguity that would be clearly understood.   Alexander Haig 

·                    The superfluous is very necessary.   Voltaire

·                    How can I be in two places at once, unless I were a bird?   Sir Boyle 
              Roche

·                    The only way to prevent what's past is to put a stop to it before it 
               happens.   Sir Boyle Roche

·                     The New York City Metropolitan Area has more people than the entire 
               state of New York.   Key to the City website 

·                     San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.   Herb Caen 

·                     I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree 
               with them.   George H. W. Bush 

 

 

Small Change: Idioms Involving Coins

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Many of us have a change jar on our desk or on a shelf. When we empty our pockets, pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters clink into the jar to join their brethren. In time, they add up, so we wrap them in paper cylinders and take them to the bank to convert them to paper.

Over the years, a number of idioms have grown up based on small change.

• bad penny (to turn up like a): to show up at an event or a place where you are definitely not wanted.

• count your pennies: pay attention to small details if you want your affairs to be in order.

• in for a penny, in for a pound: a show of determination that no mattter what the cost, you are going to stay the course.

• not have a red cent: totally bankrupt. The red referred to the collar of copper used in the coin.

• not have two pennies to rub together: again, to be totally bankrupt.

• pennies from heaven: an unexpected benefit, probably a reflection of the biblical manna from heaven.

• penny dropped, (the): a thought finally impinged on one’s consciousness. Probably a reference to a slot machine or a gumball machine; the money drops and finally hits home.

• penny for your thoughts: an indirect way of saying, “what are you thinking about?”

• penny-pinching: being a most careful steward of your money; you hold it in a tight grip.

• penny saved is a penny earned: even small amounts begin to add up if you spend nothing as money comes in.

• penny wise and pound foolish: you pay attention to small monetary matters, but are careless about larger expenses.

• pretty penny, (that’ll cost you a): the price will be high.

• put in my two cents’ worth: give your opinion. It has apparent elements of self-deprecation, but may actually represent false modesty.

 • don’t take any wooden nickels: don’t let yourself be cheated or scammed; real nickels are metal.

• nickel and dime someone: to add on small charges that, in time, begin to be significant or, at least, annoying.

• not worth a plugged nickel: worthless. A plug was a hole made in a coin and filled with a baser metal. Defaced currency would not be accepted as legal tender.

• dime a dozen, a: cheap and readily available. Each item would cost less than a cent.

• drop the dime: to betray someone. A dime was the price of a pay-phone call to the local police precinct.

• get off the dime: to spring into action, especially after a period of lethargy.

• stop/turn on a dime: to come to a halt/change direction very quickly.

 

 

Names That Suit Their Professions

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What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet.

Romeo & Juliet, II.ii. 1-2

 Well, that’s literally true, Bill, but I think a little of the bloom would be taken off if we called a rose a skunk, let’s say, or vomit. Names do carry connotations as part of theirbaggage. It’s true even of our family names. How would you like to be Nicholas Nerd or Lucinda Schitz?

There’s an interesting class of names that some people tend to treat far too seriously, which is evident from the academic name: nominative determinism. This is the theory that some people unconsciously choose their occupations in life because of their name. Obviously, a large number of surnames arose historically because of the work that family founders did: Archer, Baker, Butcher, Carpenter, Fletcher (arrow maker), Fuller (cloth cleaner), Miller, Shepherd, and Smith. But that doesn’t mean that subsequent generations were doomed to ply that occupation. Detective Lew Archer carried a gun, not a bow. I never saw a picture of Alan Shepard carrying sheep into space, and Henry Miller didn’talways have his nose to the grindstone.

But the humorous element of names that match one’s occupation is what attracts most people. Franklin P. Adams coined the term aptronym to designate a name that is suited to aprofession. And so we have Roy Holler, auctioneer; James Bugg, exterminator; Linda Toot, flautist; Dorothy Reading, librarian; Marvin Dime, coin dealer; and Priscilla Flattery,publicist. Let’s take a look at some categories that have more than their share of suitable names.

•  Rev. James R. God is minister of the Baptist Church in Congress, South Carolina

•  Father Papa is assigned to St. Agnes Church in West Chester, PA.

•  Rev. D. Goodenough is a Methodist minister

•  Donald Goodness is the rector of the Church of the Ascension in New York City

•  There is a feminist theologian named Dr. Carol Christ. It is not known if she isrelated to Father Raymond Christ of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.

•  The Rev. Samuel Abbot is an Episcopalian priest, as is Rev. George Easter. Father Donald Abbot serves the Catholic Diocese of Charleston.

•  Fathers Grim and Gross belong to the Catholic Diocese of Fargo.

DENTISTS

•  Dr. Tom Fillar is a dentist.

•  So are Dr. Aichen and Dr. Chiew.

•  Dr. Hertz was a dentist in Ft. Lauderdale.

•  Doctors Akamine and Auh practice in Los Angeles.

•  Dr. Yankelovich is a dentist in Palos Heights, Illinois.

•  Dr. Les Plack is a dentist in the San Francisco Bay Area.

DOCTORS

•  Dr. Dick Chopp is an Austin, Texas, vasectomy specialist; his associate is Dr Hardman.

•  Joseph C. Babey is a pediatrician.

•  Dr. Harry Beaver is a Virginia gynecologist.

•  American Urological Association members include Dr. P.P. Peters, Dr. Wiener, Dr. Cox, Dr. Dick, and Dr. John Thomas.

•  Dr. Fingers is a gynecologist in Australia.

•  Dr. Dick Bone is an osteopath.

•  Marcellene Doctor is a dermatologist in Fall River, Massachusetts.

•  A physician in Maine is named Dr. DeKay.

•  Michele Hakakha is a Beverly Hills gynecologist, and Leland Lapp and Elden Pecka deliverin San Diego.

•  Dr. I. Doctor is an opthalmologist.

•  Drs. Kent Aftergut, Harold Lancer, and Kenneth Mark remove tattoos.

•  Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada, is home to an optometrist named Gord Looker.

•  Dr. Frank Noodleman helps restore hair.

•  Sir Russell Brain is a famous English neurologist.

•  Dr. Peter Bump is a gynecologist in Traverse City, Michigan.

•  Dr. Slaughter is an oral surgeon.

•  Urologist Dr. Dick Tapper has a practice near Buffalo.

•  There is a chiropractor in Tacoma, Washington, named Dr. Bonz.

•  Dr. Nurse is a General Practitioner at the Woodlawn Medical Centre, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

•  Dr. Treadwell is the head of the pediatric orthopedic department of Vancouver General Hospital.

•  Drs. Joel Cook, Alexander Gross, and Anne Lott are dermatologic surgeons specializing in fat transfer.

•  Both Dr. C.B. Footlick and Dr. Smelsey were podiatrists.

 

LAWYERS

•  In Traverse City, Michigan, three lawyers are named Justice, Robb, and Law.

•  The Florida Bar directory lists lawyers named Law, Justice, Just, Juster, and Judge.

•  If your reputation has been defiled, you may want to consult with Boston’s JoshuaStayn, and if you pay by the hour, Florida’s Kathy Klock might be your pick.

•  Michael Ram will help you with Military Law, but not as avidly as Michael Guerra (Spanish for war).

•  Claudia T. Salomon specializes in Dispute Resolution.

•  Linda Pence of Indianapolis will be happy to help you with Gaming Law.

•  Daniel Saylor specializes in Maritime Law.

•  In Rochester, David Tennant will help you with Real Estate Law.

•  For help with Hazardous Waste laws, turn to Wayne Greenfeder or Frank Hunger.

•  California’s Steven Richman specializes in Banking and Finance Law.

•  Florida’s Allison Folds handles divorce cases.

•  If you’re having trouble with an online store, New York’s Kenneth Payment is a specialist in Internet Law.

•  In   Hammond,             Indiana,     Paul          Rake    specializes  in Environmental Law.

•  The Western part of Ireland is home to the firm of Argue and Phibbs.

•  In Coral Gables, Gail Parenti handles nursing home cases; in Seattle, it’s Claudia Kilbreath.

 

RESEARCHERS/PROFESSORS

•  Richard Seed is a pioneer of reproductive technology.

•  A paper on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology was authored by J.W. Splatt and D. Weedon.

•  Prof. Martin Braine is an American cognitive psychologist.

•  S.M. Breedlove writes on sexual dimorphism for the Journal of Neuroscience.

•  Gene Shearer is a Biologist with the U.S. National Institute of Health.

•  The American expert on deformed frogs is Professor Hoppe of Southwest University of Minnesota.

•  Professor Michael Lean is the Professor of Nutrition at the University of Glasgow.

•  Edgar E. Mountain wrote “Geology of Southern Africa”.

•  Dr. Randolph Seed worked on a project on artificial insemination at the Reproduction and Fertility Clinic in Chicago.

•  M. Bedrock wrote a thesis on "Sedimentology of some Westphalian C sequences".

•  “How fish hear and make sounds at the same time” was an article by Andrew Bass.

•  Dr. Reginald A. Beach specializes in coastal dynamics and sediment transport in the surf zone.

•  Dr. David Bird, of McGill University in Montréal, is one of the best known Canadian ornithologists.

•  Dr. Henry Head is past editor of Brain, a medical journal

•  Professor William F. Dolphin of Boston University is a researcher in marine mammal sonar.

•  Steven Haddock is a scientist at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute.

•  Peter Herring works at the Southampton Oceanography Centre in England.

•  Dr. Sam Lake is a freshwater ecologist in the Department of Biological Sciences at Monash University.

•  Dr. James Makepeace, professor of sociology at the college of St. Benedict at St. John's University in Minnesota, was a specialist in family violence.

•  An article entitled “Cognitive Rehabilitation of Amnesiac Alcoholics” was written by B.J. Spittle.

•  Sally Marine was an administrator at the Southampton Oceanography Centre.

•  Peter Cliff writes about mountain navigation.

 

PSYCHIATRISTS

•  Specialists in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry include Doctors Alters, Better, Best, Brain, Childs, Denton, Gabby, Goodfriend, Gross, Hack, Handler, Hugg, Joy, Klam, Krier, Kuhl, Kuts, Lapp, Lineback, Little, Luckie, Ma, Martini, Mee, Miner, Mullarky, Muse, Mutter, Narcisi, Noel, Noh, Nutter, Pagan, Panik, Pastor, Patt, Pine, Rahtz, Render, Riddle, Root, Ruberman, Sack, Sane, Schield, Schmek, Schramm,Shampain, Shnaps, Shopper, Skuse, Slack, Small, Smoke, Snow, Sorter, Spar, Speck, Spitz, Stage, Stark, Storm, Stuck, Sugar, Surpris, Tan, Tarr, Termini, Tingle, Trott, Tweed, Valentine, Van der Gaag, Vary, Walkup, Ward, Wild, Wind, Wing, Wolf, Work, Wruble, Wurst, and Young.

•  Drs. John Kluck, Richard Worst, and Charles Covert are forensic psychiatrists.

 

SPORTS

•  Robert Furlong, racing commissioner.

•  Matt Batts, baseball player who started with Boston in 1947. Inappropriately, hisrecord was similar to that of Clyde Kluttz  of the St. Louis Cardinals.

•  Speaking of baseball, we can’t forget the Tiger’s Cecil Fielder.

•  Lake Speed, race car driver, who handed in the keys after nineteen years on the circuit.

•  Gary Player, golfer from South Africa.

•  Rollie Fingers pitched for the Oakland A’s.

•  Dale Kickett played for the Freemantle Football Club.

•  Nathan Leeper, high jumper in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

•  Dick Trickle, NASCAR driver.

•  Olympic swimmers have included Bottom (1980), Crabbe (1928), Float (1984), Goessling (1908), Spitz (1972), and Watters

(1988).

•  In Newcastle, Australia, there is a boxer named Darren Hitwell.

•  Margaret Court and Anna Smashnova were tennis players

 

VETERINARIANS

•  In Baton Rouge, there is a veterinarian named Dr. Daniel Beaver.

•  Dr. Mike Bassett practices veterinary medicine.

•  Dr. Daniel Bone specializes in animal orthopedics.

•  Dr. James Chase specializes in equine medicine.

•  A veterinarian in Bogart, Georgia, is named Dr. Crowe.

•  Dr. William Hay treats horses.

•  Boston is home to veterinarian Nicholas Trout.

•  One of Dr. Woodies’ research interests (Lexington, KY) is Equine Urogenital.

 

Whether there are subtle psychological underpinnings to this phenomenon or whetherit is sheer coincidence, keep your notebook handy the next time you receive a service. Yourstockbroker may be Risky, your grocer may be Cabbage, and the policeman that stops you for speeding may be Badger.