There are more myths floating around the internet about
the origin of words and phrases than there are fruit flies on a
rotten banana. Most of them, quite obviously, are the invention
of imaginative jokesters—probably English teachers on summer
vacation—who enjoy gulling the gullible. I’ll grant that these
stories often show imagination and verve, but when they are taken
as gospel and inserted in cascading e-mails which clog the inbox
and the brain, it’s time to call a halt.
In a series of podcasts, I’m going to cover some of the phony stories
that I’ve encountered. Some are silly, some are funny, and some have
the ring of possibility, but all of them are provably wrong. They
do illustrate a common human tendency: when we don’t know the
origin of something, we become uneasy. Humans are fabricators;
we would rather make something up or grasp at an off-the-wall
explanation than admit that no one knows—admit that some things
simply have been lost in the mists of history.
Above board (in full view; honest)
MYTH: The board was the deck of a sailing ship. When you approached
a sailing vessel, if the crew was out of sight for no good reason (below board), you were prudent to suspect pirates and run the other way.
REALITY: A board was a table, and when card-playing
gamblers slipped their hands under the table, or board, cheating
was assumed.
Amazons (in Greek mythology, a nation of women warriors)
MYTH: They took their name from the Greek word a-mazos,
without a breast. This is because they voluntarily cut off their right
breasts to be able to use a bow and arrow to maximum effect.
REALITY: The Greeks borrowed the term from the Iranian ha-
mazon, “fighting together.”
Big wig (a very important person)
MYTH: Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from
wool. The wigs couldn’t be washed, or they'd shrink, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30
minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy; hence, the
term big wig.
REALITY: It’s hard to imagine a more ludicrous cleaning
method. Baking a loaf of bread a second time would result in a hard
chunk of toast. Instead of making the wig fluffy, it would constrict
it, thus creating a really bad hair day. However, the term big wig
did originate with the large and ornate wigs that only the wealthy
could afford.
Chairman (the presiding officer of an assembly, meeting,
committee, or board)
MYTH: In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large
room with only one chair. The head of the household always sat in
the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. To sit in the
chair meant you were important and made you the “chairman.”
REALITY: Obviously, these people never took an art history
course. By that era, everyone had chairs or benches, as painting after
painting will testify. The chairman was the person who sat in the
chair of authority at the head of the table in a political or business
situation; it had nothing to do with daddy scarfing down dinner.
Chew the fat (to spend time chatting)
MYTH: People in the Middle Ages would hang a side of smoked
bacon near their open fireplace to show that they were prosperous.
When a guest came, they would slice off a strip, and the host and
the guest would sit there contentedly, chewing the fat.
REALITY: In its current sense, this phrase didn’t even exist
until the late 19th century. No one is absolutely sure where it came
from, but it may originally have meant constant complaining, not
just idle conversation. It should be treated as an analogy: just as the
jaws grind away relentlessly when chewing gristly meat, so move
the jaws of the inveterate talker
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