Irish Bulls

 

 

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IRISH BULLS

•          If Queen Victoria were alive today, she’d be turning over in her grave.

•          May you never live to see your wife a widow.

•          I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If you think running with the bulls at Pamplona is dangerous, look over your shoulder: here come the Irish Bulls!

The American Heritage Dictionary defines an Irish Bull as a statement containing anincongruity or a logical absurdity, usually unbeknownst to the speaker. As an example, itgives, “With a pistol in each hand and a sword in the other ….”

Irish Bulls were deeply ingrained in the speech patterns of Sir Boyle Roche, a member of Parliament in various Irish counties from 1776 to 1800, and that’s where the Irish connection comes in. The term was frozen in place by Dr John Mahaffy, a 19th Century scholar at Trinity College, Dublin. Asked what makes Irish bulls different fromother bulls, he was quoted as saying, “An Irish Bull is always pregnant,” making itsuperior, one supposes, to less prolific bovines in other lands.

Let's run through a sampling of this brand of humor.

·               We're all in this alone.   Lily Tomlin 

·               You are unique -- just like everybody else.   Jim Wright

·                     You should have been there after you left.    Michael Kirk 

·                     Why should we go out of our way to do anything for posterity? What       
               has posterity done for us?   Sir Boyle Roche

·                    The cup of Ireland's misery has been overflowing for centuries and is   
              not yet half full.   Sir Boyle Roche

·                    An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  Samuel Goldwyn

·                    Our comedies are not to be laughed at.   Samuel Goldwyn

·                    Two things he was not able to do before, he's beginning to be able to 
              do again.   John Madden 

·                    There's no future in time travel.   Tom Baker as Dr. Who

·                    There's a time for laughing, and there's a time for not laughing; this is   
              not one of them.   Inspector Clousseau

·                    There is more pure chocolate in our all-butter cookies than any other 
              ingredient.   Safeway label 

·                    Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded.  Yogi Berra

·                   This is like deja vu all over again.  Yogi Berra

·                    If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them.   Yogi  
              Berra

·                     Warning: this product may contain olive pits.  Label on a pitted olive  
               can purchased in Oleson's Market

·                    The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated 
              ambiguity that would be clearly understood.   Alexander Haig 

·                    The superfluous is very necessary.   Voltaire

·                    How can I be in two places at once, unless I were a bird?   Sir Boyle 
              Roche

·                    The only way to prevent what's past is to put a stop to it before it 
               happens.   Sir Boyle Roche

·                     The New York City Metropolitan Area has more people than the entire 
               state of New York.   Key to the City website 

·                     San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.   Herb Caen 

·                     I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree 
               with them.   George H. W. Bush