Sunday, January 18, 2015


Mike from Cadillac challenged me to come up with some words that we could use if they actually existed. Rather than taking time out to make some up during this very busy season, I’m going to cheat and offer some that I wrote in an article a few years back.

kerysomnia  n.  The unfailing ability to fall asleep during a sermon. [< Gr  keryssein,  to proclaim, + L somnus, sleep]
synchrotenation  n.  That embarrassing moment at the family dinner table when everyone reaches for the last pork chop at the same time. [< E synchro-, simultaneously, + L tenere, to take hold of]
anamelophobia  n.  Fear of, or aversion to, elevator music. [< Gr ana,
upward, + melo, music, + phob, fear]
optotoxicidal  adj.  Of or pertaining to poisonous looks that could kill, especially from a spouse.  [< Gr ops, eye, + toxikon, poison, + E -cide, to kill]
umbalgia  n.  The excruciating pain experienced when a doorknob violently strikes one's thigh. [< L umbo, a knob or projection + -algia, pain]
vinigrate v.  -grated, -grating  To annoy others while under the influence of alcoholic beverages. [< L vinum, wine + grate, to annoy]
coprovore  n.   A subordinate who is forced to listen without interruption as his or her boss engages in unrelenting verbal abuse. [< Gr kopro-, dung, + L vorare, eat]
vellicitude  (vel-ISS-uh-tewd) n.  Having one's sleeve plucked by a persistent street beggar. [< L vellicare, to pull or pluck + solicit ]
philatelicide  n.  1. A postal worker who goes on a rampage and murders his co-workers.  2. The act of a philatelicide.  [< G philately, the study of stamps, + L -cide, murder]
pisced-off (pisht-OFF) adj.  Angry because the market is out of fresh fish.   [< L. piscis, fish, + -off]
proctotious (prok-TOE-shuss) adj.  Of or pertaining to a lazy knave, such as one's brother-in-law. [< Gr proctos, rectum, + L otium, leisure]
frustrum  n., pl. frustra.  An unendurably itchy spot in the middle of one's back which defies all efforts to reach it. [< L frustra in vain]
mephitomint n., pl. -mints.   A lozenge deliberately designed to produce foul breath in certain social situations, such as a blind date which is going badly. [< L mephitis, noxious stench, + mint]
testiculate  v.  To make an obscene gesture by grabbing one's crotch.  [< L testis, testicle]
ructitude  n.  The satisfying feeling of relief which comes after a particularly good belch. {< L eructare, to belch]
rhinothetic  adj.  Having the tendency to stick one's nose in other people's business. [< Gr rhin-, nose, + E -thetic > Gr-tithenai, to put or place]
bisedilious  adj.  Pertaining to a bus rider or theatergoer so large tha two seats are necessary to accommodate him or her--and who invariably sits next to you. [< L bi-, two, + sedile, seat]
podostomatic  adj.  Tending to suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. [< Gr pod-, foot, +  stom-, mouth]
bufogamation  (bew-FOE-guh-MAY’-shun) n.  The act of marrying a prince only to discover that he's really a toad. [< Gr bufo-, toad, + gam-, wed]

pharmasuitical  adj.  Pertaining to a multi-pocketed garment worn by drug smugglers. [< Gr pharmako, drug, + Eng. suit]

Words to theWise, Kindle Edition 

Listen to Mike’s program in real time every Tuesday morning, 9:10 - 10:00 a.m. EST, by going to and clicking on Listen Now. You’ll also find about a month’s worth of podcasts there under The Ron Jolly Show.


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