Crash Blossoms

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I’m giving a luncheon presentation to a social group called the Noontiders this coming week in Glen Arbor, Michigan. It will be the usual informative-humorous mix that puts a strain on no one, and this time I will include a short section on crash blossoms.

Ben Zimmer reported on the name and the occasion for it nearly a decade ago, giving credit to Dan Bloom for coming up with a memorable name. Essentially, crash blossoms are ambiguous headlines. By their nature, headlines are compressed communications; they rely on short words with multiple meanings capable of being used as multiple parts of speech. It is not unusual to have to read a headline several times to extract its exact meaning. In fact, that is a telling sign that you are in the presence of a crash blossom.

The name crash blossom came from a specific headline spotted in Sapporo, Japan:
“Violinist Linked to JAL Crash Blossoms.”  Multiple readers puzzled, What the heck are crash blossoms? Here’s how to parse the headline. Diana Yukawa, whose father died in a 1985 Japan Airlines plane crash, was enjoying a successful musical career. Blossoms is a verb in this headline, not a noun: Violinist (who was linked to a JAL crash) blossoms.

As you go through the examples that follow, stay mentally flexible. Quickly sift through multiple meanings, test for different parts of speech, and fill in missing prepositions, verbs, auxiliary verbs, etc.

Police Recruit Dead                                  
Police (adj.) Recruit (n.) is Dead (pred. adj.)

Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans    
Push = n., not v.    Bottles up = v., not n.

British Left Waffles on Falklands               
Left = n., not v.  Waffles = v., not n. (hesitates)

Skeletons halt work on clinic

Bishops agree sex abuse rules

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests

Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Two Found Dead In Cemetery

Gator Attacks Puzzle Experts

3 dead Detroit marathoners said to be healthy

Giant Waves Down Queen Mary’s Funnel

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Editor Protests Paper Cut

McDonald’s Fries the Holy Grail for Potato Farmers

Word Parts Dictionary, Nook edition

Word Parts Dictionary, Kindle edition

Words to the Wise, Kindle Edition 

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